Hang Up The Hank
by Graymoon74
Summary: This is based on Episode 'Crash and Burn' where Sara finds out about Hank's girlfriend. How will Grissom react to this news? What will he do for Sara? GSR
1. Chapter 1

Sara leaned down and peered into the dead man's earway. She was listening to David tell her about the broken ear drum, momentarily feeling as if she had a pain in her own ear. She couldn't even imagine having that sort of thing happen inside her head. Once, when she was younger, she had stuck a Q-tip in too far and had quite the nasty sharp pain for a few moments, but this would have been a longer amount of abuse. And she knew it sure would have hurt worse.

She hardly looked up as Grissom came in behind her, "What do we have?"

Men. Her mind flashed back to Hank. Asshole. Girlfriend. Why the hell hadn't she seen it coming? She looked at evidence all damn day, but she couldn't put the facts together on Hank in order to see that he was just a pile of trash.

"Sara." she heard it said by one male voice and then softer by another.

She looked up from the ear, her eyes meeting with Grissom's, "Sorry." she said as both men exchanged glances.

"You okay?" David asked.

She smiled, "Sure." she said, avoiding Grissom's stare.

"Sorry about Hank." David said, causing Sara to falter a bit so that Grissom reached out to steady her.

"I'm fine." she said to both of them, offering Grissom a small smile as she pulled herself out of his soft grasp, "David was just telling me about the broken eardrums this poor kid sustained."

Sara watched as Grissom peered down into the ear. She was quietly happy that she didn't have to look either one of them in the eye right now.

And where in the hell had David found out the information on Hank and her breakup? God, word sure did travel fast.

Catherine! She felt sure it was her and no one else.

"Sara." again it was David's voice followed by Grissom's voice.

"I'm here." she said, but her mind truly was still on Hank. She was trying her best to stay in the moment, but all the moments she had spent with Hank kept popping up in her head. She was sorting through the evidence of Hank, trying to see what she might have missed.

"Do you need a moment?" Grissom was asking, a light furrow in his brow.

"No." she said as she straightened up quickly, her eyes avoiding Grissom's, "Go on with it David."

David began to go over the body with Grissom. Sara acted like she was listening, but her mind was far away.

_"I'd love to take you to Hawaii." Hank had said one morning when Sara was pulling on her clothes, "I'd love to take you around the world."_

_Sara had taken him back into his bed. That is about the only place they really had been over the months of knowing him. And she had thought that she was falling in love. Falling for someone other than Gilbert Grissom. _

_Hawaii sounded wonderful. _

_So did a boyfriend without a girlfriend at home._

"Sara." this time it was only Grissom's voice.

She looked up, realizing that David was now gone from the room. It was now just Grissom and herself.

She smiled tightly, "Yeah."

"Are you here with me?" he was checking the mouth of the dead teenager, "What's going on?"

"Nothing." she grabbed for her camera, "I'm fine."

He stared at her for a moment, "Do we need to continue this after lunch?"

"Actually," she put her camera down, "that would be great."

Ten minutes later Sara found herself in the breakroom, leaned against the counter, drinking down a large cup of coffee.

"Hey." Nick appeared, grabbing the coffee pot, "You know me and Warrick have your back, right?"

Sara sipped more of the hot liquid down, "What does that mean?"

"That jerk Hank." Nick leaned on the counter, now pulling his arm up into a muscle shot, "These babies are meant to harm."

Catherine walked in, a gentle grin on her lips, "Put those guns away." she teased as she grabbed the coffee pot.

"Anyway," Nick said as he backed away from the two women, "you need us to take care of him, you just say the word."

Sara smiled as Nick left the breakroom.

"I had to tell them." Catherine said with an appologetic smile, "They were wondering why Hank avoided them at the scene the other day. It kind of pissed me off to hear his name, so I did some damage in telling the boys about what he did to you."

"Hence, them wanting to kick his butt." Sara said with a semi grin above the mug rim, "Just as long as you don't tell..."

"Just did." Catherine looked even more appologetic, "Sorry."

"Great." Sara said softly, now pouring the rest of the coffee into the sink drain.

"I had to." Catherine looked a bit desperate, "He was about to give you quite the talking to about last weeks case and now about how you acted in the autopsy room." she filled her cup again, "He seemed at his wits end."

"It's fine." Sara moved toward the door, "He was bound to find out about it at some time."

Sara walked quietly down the empty cooridor and out into the sunlight of the day. She pushed herself into the seat of her car, letting out a tired breath.

At about one thirty she saw Grissom re-entering the building.

She didn't really want to face him now that he knew. But, in all fairness to herself, what would he do about it? Probably act like he didn't even know.

She entered the autopsy room silently, her feet feeling like lead weights as she moved toward Grissom who was leaned over taking swabs of the feet, "You have a good lunch?" he asked without looking at her.

"Fine." she said as she picked her camera up, "You find anything yet?"

Silence met her question.

She clicked off a few pictures and then looked at him, he was eyeing her, "Did you eat?"

She placed her camera up to her eye again, snapping a few photo's of the ear, "I wasn't hungry."

"Sara." he said as if it were more of a command than just her name.

"I really wasn't hungry." she avoided his eyes as she snapped off about ten more pictures.

"Have dinner with me." he said.

Sara took the camera from her eyes, a furrow meeting her brow, "What?"

He looked back down at the swab, "If you have dinner with me I can be sure that you eat."

Sara lifted the camera back to her eye, taking a few shots of the knee he was swabbing, "This is a pity dinner." she said, her voice rising a bit, "I know Catherine told you about Hank."

"Just looking after my crew." he said with a slight nod of his head.

"Well, " she said as she placed her camera over her shoulder, "I don't need pity right now. Pity only makes me feel lonelier." she cleared her throat, "But...thanks."

He was eyeing her again, "What if I tell you you have to have dinner with me?"

"That would border on harassment, wouldn't it?" Sara almost smiled, but kept her feelings in check.

"I suppose." he said, curling his lips around the words, "It's free for you, so," he moved toward the door with his bagged swabs, "it's up to you."


	2. Dinner On Me

Sara looked up as Grissom came into the breakroom; her heart lurching in her chest as his eyes met with her own, "You ready?" he asked as he grabbed a water from the refrigerator.

She closed the magazine she was holding, only partly aware that she hadn't read a single word of the article she had been staring at for a half an hour, "I...um..."

Warrick came bounding into the breakroom, folder in hand, "Hey boss," he pushed the folder toward Grissom, "you have a moment to check out something?"

Sara sighed lightly as Grissom took the folder, both men now standing side by side reading over the file.

"Where did this come from?" Grissom asked finally as Warrick grabbed the folder out of his hands, "I thought all this was cleared."

"Not yet." Warrick looked a bit appologetic, "Catherine's working on it, but Nick and I came across this and just wanted your opinion before we show it to her."

Sara felt like a third wheel all of a sudden.

"Get Catherine's opinion." Grissom said as he raised an eyebrow at Warrick, "If you need help after that," he said rather gruffly, "then I am your man."

Sara tapped the plastic back of the chair lightly as she waited.

Warrick eyed her, "You okay?"

"Fine." she said, giving him a tight smile.

"Nick told you about our agreement, right?" Warrick winked at her, "Don't you forget it."

"Never." Sara said lightly.

Warrick thanked Grissom and left the room.

"Come on." Grissom said softly to Sara as she hesitated by the table, "Let's get some food in you."

She followed him out to his car; only, once again, to be interrupted. This time by Nick, "Hey Grissom!"

"Get in." Grissom said to Sara as he turned to look at Nick, "You have something for me, Nick?"

Sara pulled herself up into the car, slamming the door softly. She buckled her seatbelt; her mind trying to fight off images of Hank.

_"You like kids?" he had asked her one afternoon when they were seated in the park watching a bunch of children slide down the slide, "I want about twenty of them."_

_Sara had laughed and then he had rolled her over on the large blanket, settling his lips on her own. _

_The kiss had seemed magical. _

_Perfect._

She didn't even know she was shaking her head until Grissom reached over and touched her shoulder. She pulled her arm away quickly, surprised to see him there, "Hey." he said as he pulled his hand away, "You okay?'

"Uh huh." she said, but her brain was still stuck on the image of her and Hank rolling on the blanket.

Grissom was still watching her,"Where do you go, Sara?" he asked softly, his eyes searching her face.

She was quick to look away, "Usually Valent's." she said as a furrow met his brow, "It's down the street. They have veggie stuff and regular meat meals."

"No." he started the car, but kept it in park as he again looked at her, "Sara," he said softly, now reaching over to squeeze her hand, "Where do you go in your head?"

She was the one to look confused now as she stared into his blue eyes, "Just so stupid sometimes." she muttered as she shook her head lightly, dropping her gaze from his as she looked down at his hand holding her hand, "I got a life, but he already had one."

She felt his hand squeeze her hand as he pulled the car out of the parking lot, "He didn't deserve you honey."

She turned her head away so that he wouldn't be able to see the wetness in her eyes.

_"You're so beautiful." Hank had said later that night, "I just want to love you forever."_

Her chin began to quiver; her eyes growing soggy. She had believed every word that he had spoken to her. Why had she been so dumb?

Grissom pulled the car into Valent's, "Sara?"

She couldn't look at him, her eyes were still wet, "I'll be in in a second." she said as she blinked away more tears.

She felt his hand leave her hand, "You sure?"

She could hear the hesitation in his voice.

"Yeah." she said, hearing him get out of the car.

Quickly she wiped at her eyes and face. She pulled the visor down, opening the mirror quickly. She pushed mascara smudges out from under her eyes, her fingers coming away with tiny black streaks on them.

Suddenly, to her dismay, Grissom opened the passenger side door, "Sara." he sighed softly, causing Sara's lip to start quivering all over again. Fresh tears began to well in her eyes. She dropped her head, her shoulders beginning to shake.

Grissom reached over and pulled her seatbelt off her, "He's not worth it." he said gently, his right hip leaned into her seat as he pushed some stray hairs out of her face, "Look at me, Sara."

She buried her forehead in her palms, her shoulders now shaking with tiny, hesitant sobs.

She desperately tried to calm herself, but she was heaving too much now, the memories spilling into her brain like a swarm of angry bees.

"Come here." Grissom said softly as he pulled her down from the car and into his arms.

It was a warm and wonderfully strong embrace.

She buried her head on his shoulder, breathing him in between heavy sobs.

"So stupid." she moaned as her tears soaked into the collar of his coat.

"You're not stupid." he whispered as he held her.

Finally, with a small sigh, she pulled away from him, "Thanks." she said as she blotted her wet cheeks with the back of her hand, "We should get in there."

He stared at her, "You'll be okay?"

"Yeah." she breathed in heavily, still wiping away tears and wetness from her skin, "I'll be fine."

He reached up, cupping her face, "You're sure?" his eyes burned into her own.

"Yeah." she smiled faintly, "I'm sure."

"Alright." he moved away from her, letting her duck under his arm as he closed the door.

They entered the restaurant together; Sara ducking into the restroom as soon as they were through the front doors.

She stood in front of the mirror blotting her face with a paper towel, her eyes looking puffy and tired.

Just as she was about to leave, she paused quickly.

Someone in the stall behind her was puking. It sounded pretty bad.

Sara knocked, "You okay?" she asked.

"Fine." Came a soft reply.

Sara waited.

Moments later the door to the stall opened and Sara almost winced.

"I think I am pregnant." the woman said.

Sara couldn't believe it.

It was Hank's girlfriend.


	3. XRay A Day

The knowledge of Hank's girlfriend being pregnant left a pinching pain in Sara's heart and a frozen chill lodged in her spine. She walked out of the bathroom with a new sense of loneliness that seemed to be brinking on self destruction. And there was something else. Some question not being answered in the back of her head. Some tiny little worry that didn't seem significant enough to think about at the moment. She could divulge in it later. Think it over and see what she would do about it if it were true.

She searched the dark dining area for Grissom, but her eyes deceived her as they also sought out Hank. His blonde head stood out above the others in the dim interior and she found herself staring. His girlfriend was just seating herself, a small smile on her lips.

Sara shook her head lightly to clear away anything that might have been brewing there. All the little sweet things he had said seemed to be perminantely burned into her brain.

Ripping her eyes from the back of Hank's head she let them linger over a few other booth's until she recognized the salt and pepper locks of Grissom's hair. As if he represented a life boat in the middle of the ocean, she sought him out quickly. Seating herself before he had a chance to look up at her.

"You okay?" was the question that fell from those impossibly attractive lips.

She pinched a smile his way, "Yeah." she flicked a glance Hank's way, just catching him looking her way, "Did you order?"

"Waiting on you." he eyed her, "You know what you want to order?"

"Uh huh." she said quietly, her eyes looking toward Hank again.

Grissom's gaze followed, "Sara," he said softly as he pushed a menu into her hands, "we can go elsewhere if you like."

"No." she straightened up her reclining posture and looked at the menu, "I'm fine."

"For some reason I always think you say that word when you aren't fine." he shut his menu and handed it to the waiting waitress, "I'll have the steak burger."

Sara winced inside at the fleshy meal he had just ordered, "I'll have the veggie burger."

The table was quiet for a moment; Sara sipping at the water that sat in front of her, her eyes trying desperately not to stray.

"You're going to eat, right?" he said finally breaking the silence, "I'm not waisting my time and money on you, am I?"

Sara shook her head lightly, her hair lazily hitting the bottom of her chin as she did so, "I'll eat." she said as she leaned back into the comfort of the booth seat, "I promise."

His blue eyes roved her face, "Quit looking at him, Sara."

Sara found herself doing just that. Her eyes trained solely on Hank's long frame poised at the booth across the room, "I just wonder what kind of lies he's selling her."

She breathed in deeply, her eyes coming to rest upon Grissom's gaze, "He has a lot of pretty words he uses." She halted a sad smile, trying to turn it up at the ends of her lip glossed mouth, "I fell for them all."

"You're only human." he said.

The meal came quickly. Grissom eyeing her like a hawk as she took small bites from her burger.

When they were both finished eating, Grissom ordered her another veggie burger to take back to the lab. He insisted upon it telling her that she needed to gain some weight. She was getting much too thin for her frame. He wasn't going to see her wither away to nothing just because some jerk threw her away.

She had silently cherished the concern he was showing her and only offered him one word.

"Thanks." she said as they got into his car for the drive back to the lab.

They had driven in silence until he told her he needed to stop for a few things at the store. Did she want to come in or stay outside in the car?

She choose the car. And, as he disappeared into the store, sleep choose her.

Hours later Sara woke to the straining sound of metal peeling away from joints and the overwhelming smell of engine oils. Where the hell was she?

She opened her fluttering lids, only to be met with the realization that she was still seat belted into Grissom's passenger seat, her body reclined at a relaxing angle. No wonder she was sleeping. She looked down at her watch and was utterly surprised to see that she had been asleep for about three hours.

Getting out of the car seemed to be a chore for her as she opened the door, throwing her long legs out; her feet hitting the cold cement of the hard garage floor. Now she recognized where she was and it occured to her that she had purposefully been left in such a place.

She looked about, finally settling her eyes on the back of Nick who was bent over the doorframe of a large Buick. He was drilling into a large peice of black metal.

Hesitant, but determined, she walked over to him and gently poked his shoulder. He turned, flipping the power drill off, "Hey sleeping beauty." he grinned softly, his eyes showing some sort of concern, "You feeling better?"

Sara smiled, but pinched it off before it showed to much, "Why didn't anyone wake me?" she let her voice hinge on irritated.

Nick held up his hands as if in retreat, "Boss man told me to let you sleep."

"Did he?" she said, her heart fluttering in her chest, "For three hours?"

"He said he'd come and get ya if he needed you." Nick pulled his safety glasses back over his eyes, "Just doing what I am told."

Sara moved back from him as he started up the drill again. She shook out some nervous tension from her long arms and made her way into the lab.

Warrick came bustling around the corner, his hand reaching for Sara as soon as he crashed into her, "Hey!" he said as he steadied her, "Woah..."

She stumbled, but his hand kept her on her feet, "Have you seen Grissom?" she asked as she pulled away from Warrick's tight grip.

"Autopsy." he said as he moved on down the hallway.

Sara moved toward the autopsy room, her head filled with words to say to Grissom, but not knowing exactly how she should approach it. Should she be angry with him for letting her sleep away precious hours of work time?

Upon walking into the room, she noticed two things; Grissom and Doc Robbins discussing a large group of x-rays on the lighted surface on the wall and a small tinge of unmistakable tension.

She quietly stood in the doorway; not able to move.

They had said her name. It had fallen from Grissom's lips and now she was paralyzed by the fear that he and Robbins were having a private talk about her.

Finally, as if a force beyond her own pushed her to speak, she moved from the doorway on into the room, "Do we have a child DB now?" she asked upon seeing a small childlike skull x-ray on the wall before the two men.

Both men turned; Doc Robbin's looking blank, but Grissom looking concerned.

"I'll...uh..." Doc Robbins said with a quite look toward Grissom, "let you two have a moment."

Sara watched in confussion as the older man hobbled out of the room, "What's going on?"

The room suddenly felt smaller and darker as Grissom stared at her, "I need you to take a look at something." he said as he lifted a large manilla envelope into her view.

She tucked some stray hairs behind her ears and walked over to him, her heart fluttering in her chest from the smell of coffee that was wafting off of him, "I didn't mean to sleep so long." she offered as she took the envelope from him, "You could have woken me."

"You needed your rest." he said as he leaned his hip into the metal of the autopsy table, "Tell me if the handwriting on the envelope looks familiar."

Sara eyed him and then looked down at the script, "I...um..." she bit her lip, softly chewing at it as she gazed down at the writing, "this...uh..." she looked behind her at the x-rays, "I don't get it."

Grissom studied her face for a long moment as she stared at the x-rays on the lighted wall, "Do you know the writing?"

Sara's brow fluttered between confusion and wonder as she let her eyes linger over the broken bones shown in the x-rays, "I don't get it."

"Sara." Grissom's voice was soft, yet authoritve, "Who wrote this address?"

She faultered slightly, a gentle huff of air pushing out of her mouth as she looked back at Grissom, "It looks like my mom's handwriting."

"You're sure?" he asked as he ran his hand over the envelope in order to smooth some of the edges.

"Positive." she cleared her throat of whatever lump might have been wanting to form there, "I know her 's' by heart."

"I think I get it now." he said softly, causing Sara to look at him.

"Get what?" she turned to stare at the x-rays on the wall again, "I don't get why we have a child's x-rays on the wall, but no child?"

Grissom turned so that he was now looking at her, "You don't recognize these?"

Sara raised an eyebrow, her lips forming into a word, but not saying it as she again stared at the lighted film.

And then, as if all her insides had melted, she felt a blinding welt of terror dripping down her spine, "Why would she send these here?"

She stepped closer to the wall, her eyes staring at the small skull and roving down to the larger one. All of a sudden she could feel the pain of every blow as if she were back home again; her mother desperately trying to protect her from the hands that always hurt her.

She felt the mind blowing numbness from the point at which his hand came in contact with her face; heard the ear splitting crack of her nose bone breaking; felt the searing pain of the nerves reacting; tasted the blood. It had gushed into her mouth like hot lava. Sara had thought she was going to die. And she had only been seven when it first had happened. She had been so damn young.

"I figure that your mom sent these after seeing the Jane Doe report on the news. I think she thought the nameless woman was you." his voice was soft.

Sara let her eyes rove to the bottom of each film to see that her name was on each one.

She was suddenly aware of Grissom's eyes on her, "I...um..." she crossed her arms under her breasts, trying her best to stay focused and under control.

"That must have been really horrible for you, Sara." his words were as gentle as he could possibly make them.

Again, she cleared her throat, pushing her arms deeper under her breasts, "Mom tried to protect me, but she could barely protect herself." her voice was unsteady.

She felt him move toward her, the warmth of his body invading her space, his warm shoulder so near to her's that if she just moved a tiny step, he would be pressed against her, "Your dad?"

Sara quickly tucked some hair behind her ear, her eyes going to Grissom's eyes, "She must have thought I would make the same mistake."

She could see the worry in his eyes; the strain of the knowledge of this horror edging it's way into his brows, "How did you handle it?"

Sara smiled crockedly, dipping her head down for a second in order to reclaim her calm, "I had this..." she looked back at the x-rays, "dollhouse..." her words vibrated from her mouth in tiny, high pitched twitches, "and the whole family was secure and nice." she again lifted her long fingers to slide hair behind her ear, "They never fought or hit." she gave Grissom a tight smile, "I lived there in the dollhouse with the happy family," her smile deteriorated into a frown, "not in reality with my own."

The room was silent for a moment as Grissom began to take down the x-rays. Sara stood watching him, still trying to reclaim some sense of calm. When the lighted window was all cleared, she dropped her hands to her sides and shook them out.

Grissom shut a filing cabinet somewhere in the room and then was back in front of Sara.

She had dropped her hands into the pockets of the lab coat she wore, her mind still reeling in the moments passed.

"You do know that most men don't hit, right?" he had his hands in his pockets, his hip leaned against the autopsy table, "You do know that, right Sara?"

She raised an eyebrow, her lips sliding into a nervous smile, "Yeah." she tried to look as unharmed as possible, "I know that."

Grissom stepped over to her placing his large warm hands on her arms, "Sara..." he said as his thumbs rubbed up and down against her lab coat, "honey..."

It was happening again. Twice in the same day. The mad twitch in her lip. The quiver of her pale chin. A flood of desperate, pent up tears breaking over the barrier of her eyelids.

He pulled her into his embrace just as she sputtered into an uncontrollable sob.

This one was different and seemingly unending. Everytime she thought she was done crying, a new well of tears broke free.

And his warm body pressed against her own only made her feel sadder. Why couldn't he just love her completely?

Why couldn't he just kiss away this pain that was bordering on complete and insane loneliness?

This thought gave her the strength to push him away, but he didn't go far. He stood in front of her, his large thumbs sliding up her cold cheeks to rid them of the wetness that clung to her skin damply.

She smiled and let out a nervous, repressed laugh, "I'm always crying on you."

His eyebrow quivered in response as he cleared away a few stray tears that had lingered over the back of his hand, "It's fine." he said softly.

"Do I look like a mess?" she again tried to laugh faintly.

"You always look beautiful." he said as he dropped his hands from her face, "I just need to know," he placed his hands back in his pockets, "what you need in order to make all this better."

Sara raised an eyebrow, smiling her best, "I'm fine now." she stepped away from him, her mouth quivering at the corners, "Thanks."

She left the room as quickly as she could, the feel of his warmth still invading all her senses.

Grissom bowed his head as she left the room.

A few hours later, Sara sat in her bathroom staring down at five empty boxes. The day had gone bad and now it was just brinking and overflowing into worse.

She knew she had felt something different about herself lately. Something odd and foreboding. But she knew, upon hearing of Hank's girlfriends pregnancy, that she had to do this now before it was too late. She had to know.

_"We don't need one, baby." Hank had said quickly, his breath coming in warm gasps against her shoulder, "I'll take care of it."_

_Sara had pushed him away and gone to get dressed, "I don't need..."_

_"Awe, come on Sara, it's just this once." he had smiled with warm kisses against her lips, "We can be careful enough."_

_She had fallen back into the backseat of his car and thrown caution to the wind._

"So stupid." she said softly as she gazed down at the group of five sticks held in her shaking hand.

All the sticks held the same answer for her.

She was pregnant with Hank's child.


	4. Expecting the Unexpected

Sara recognized the tired look in his eyes as soon as they met with her own. It was brazingly obvious that he hadn't slept in days. She could also see tension knitting his brow as Ecklie once again began his speech on vacation days and sick days.

She leaned deeper into the cold wall behind her, trying to will herself to leave, but wanting desperately to hear the outcome of the situation.

"I'm giving her three months, Conrad, and that's my final answer to you." Grissom's voice was soft, terse, "She hasn't had a real vacation the whole time she has worked here. It is the least we can do."

"Really?" Ecklie asked with a sneer.

"Plus, it won't be for another six months." Grissom said as he buried a file in a drawer out beside him, "By than we can have someone good to take over for her."

Sara watched as Grissom's eyes met with her own as Ecklie opened his mouth to talk, "She goes out and gets pregnant and somehow we have to give her time off for it?" he leaned in on Grissom's desk, "She is nothing but a problem, Gil. When are you going to see that?"

Grissom got up then, closing the door. That was as far as Grissom would let Sara hear. Still, through the blinds, she could see Grissom in Ecklie's face fighting for her.

God she loved him.

She smiled sadly as she positioned herself back in front of the mounting evidence of the day. This is what she would be looking at for the next six months. No more field work for her, just tons of evidence and long hours staring at it.

She slid her gloves on only partially aware of the nausciousness growing in her abdomen. It reached it's peek when she was called into Ecklie's office an hour later.

Walking down the hallway she started to feel worse and worse. Grissom was out in the field. There was no one to protect her from whatever it was that Ecklie wanted to berate her about.

When she walked into his office, she paused at the door, her hand still on the handle, scared to let go of it, "Yes?"

She heard him tell her to sit.

Sara seated herself.

Sara had always thought that he looked like a shark. Something about the sharpness to his face and the fact that he was quite vicious when need be. She figured this was a 'need be' situation as she watched him page the front desk to tell the receptionist to hold all his calls.

Sara watched as he opened a folder; presumably her's, and leafed quietly through some papers. Without him seeing it, she rolled her eyes lightly.

"Okay." he said as he gathered a few papers together and handed them to her, "I need you to fill these out." his voice was gruff.

"I thought Grissom was going to handle this." she said, her eyes roving over a few documents concerning her request for vacation, "Shouldn't he be doing this?'

"He's in the field now doing overtime because of you." Ecklie eyed her darkly, "Things are going to be different around here for a bit now that you can't be helping in the field. I just don't understand why you have to keep messing everything in your life and in this lab up."

Sara looked at him, her anger building in the pit of her stomach. She wanted to tell him off. She wanted to reach across the desk and punch his face in.

"I have a whole file cabinet dedicated to you. Your blow ups, your sleeping on the job, your blatant attitude problem..."

"Can I take these with me?" she was getting up, but he told her to sit.

"I know it's Grissom's call, but he's going to see what a problem you are and at somepoint; maybe when you finally mess up for good, he is going to come to his senses..."

"I have to pee." she said as she gathered the papers, "Thanks."

She left in such a hurry that he didn't have a chance to mention any more of her short comings.

She filled out the paperwork and by seven that night was ready to hand it in to Grissom. She knocked lightly on his door.

He looked up from a folder of photo's, "Come in." he said.

Sara walked in, a small smile on her lips, "Here are the papers for my three months vacation." she shrugged, "And thanks for talking to Ecklie."

He puzzled the papers she handed him, "Who gave you these?"

She seated herself, "Ecklie called me into his office while you were out in the field."

"What?" he said with a furrow in his brow, "He knew I had these papers for you." he said as he stapled the four filled in sheets together, "Did he say anything to you?"

Sara shook her head, hiding her discomfort at lying to Grissom, "No."

"So he just handed you these papers and had you go on your way?" he was watching her closely.

Sara smiled and shook her head, "Yeah." she gave him a half smile, "That was it."

Grissom watched her smile fade into a thin line and then disappear from her face, "I find that hard to believe."

"Me too." she shrugged, "I guess he knew you had your hands full."

The office around them was quiet as Grissom studied her for a long moment.

Sara slid her hand over her belly a few times as she nervously waited for Grissom to tell her she could go. He didn't.

"What else did he say to you, Sara?" his words were edging on impatience.

Sara looked at a loss for words, "Nothing."

Grissom sighed, "Alright." he said, not wanting to upset her, "Did you ever get in touch with Hank again?"

Sara found that she would have rather been still discussing Ecklie, "No. He moved."

Grissom raised his eyebrow, "Where?"

"Out of state." Sara gave him a small grin, "I checked with his work, but they don't know where he went either. No one knows. He just took off." she raised her eyebrow, her smile twitching on her lips, "You know his girlfriend is pregnant too?"

"Didn't know that." he said as he glanced down at her thin fingers lying over her swelled stomach.

"Yeah." she drummed her fingers against her warm belly, "I guess he had to hit the road. Get outta Dodge." she smiled faintly, "I think me telling him I was pregnant with twin girls blew his mind."

Grissom sighed again, his eyes glancing over the sheets she had filled out, "He's not a real man Sara." he finally said as his eyes met with her eyes, "A real man would have stuck around and worked something out."

"A real man," Sara said quietly, her eyes now on her stomach, "wouldn't have cheated on his girlfriend."

The office was quiet again, except for the ticking of the clock.

Grissom watched her for a moment. Her head bowed. Her hands covering her stomach.

"Did you ever think of giving them up for adoption?" his voice was soft.

Sara's head popped up, "No." she said almost harshly, "I couldn't put them in the system." her eyes had taken on a wild look, "I was in the system and I hated it. I couldn't do that to them just because I made a stupid mistake." she shrugged, "It's not their fault that I mad a bad decision."

"You're going to be okay?" he had a sadness to his voice that Sara had never really heard before.

"Yeah." she cleared her throat, "Fine."

He let his eyes linger down to her belly again,"If you need anything..."

She smiled, pushing herself to stand, "I'll be fine."


	5. Back To Heartache

Sara stared at herself in the mirror, her eyes studying every line in her tired face. Her body was tired too. Especially the aching muscles in her small back.

It was now six months in and she was exhausted.

She shut her locker door, easing her aching form back into the hardness of the lockers behind her. She let a tight moan escape her lips as she gently nudged her hands underneath her pregnant belly.

"God help me get through three more months." she whispered as she stared down at the mountainess buldge in her hands.

"You okay?"

It was his voice. A voice that could render her speechless in less than a second or too talkative in the same amount of time.

Her head flew up, only to come in sudden contact with the cold lockers behind her. She cried out momentarilly as her hand grabbed at the throbbing place on her skull, trying to quickly massage away the pain.

Grissom's large hand covered her's on the back of her head as he squatted down in front of her, "I didn't mean to frighten you." he said softly as he took over massaging her head with his thick fingers.

She dropped her hand, mostly afraid of feeling his hand on her own for too long, "It's okay." she said, feeling like a small child as he searched her eyes.

"You're okay?" Concern was etched in every crinkle of his attractive features.

"Yeah." she smiled softly, her lips twitching lightly as she stared at him.

The position was so strange. One of his hands was on her knee; the other still buried in her hair, "You're head going to be okay."

She felt a ripple of a muscle cramp building in her lower back as she tried desperately to keep herself sitting up as straight as possible, "Yeah." she shook her head, some of her hair falling into her face.

He dropped his hand to her other knee, still squatting in front of her, "You look tired Sara, are you getting enough sleep?" he looked worried as he brushed some hair from her face, now clutching it at the back of her neck, "You really need your sleep, honey."

"I'm getting five hours a night, Grissom." she smoothed her shirt over her belly, "I'm fine."

"Did you eat dinner yet?" he asked as his eyes roved her face.

She smiled, "Grissom..."

"What did you eat?"

She gripped tighter to the bench as another sharp pain shot through her back, "Salad and a yogurt."

"And?" he raised his brow.

"That's all I was hungry for at the time."

"Well," he said, now standing up and putting out his hand to her, "I brought you back a veggie burger and some fries." he stood there staring down at her, his palm waiting for her's, "Come on."

She rolled her eyes lightly, one hand snaking its way under her belly and the other reaching out for his.

She felt his hand close around her own as he pulled her up, "I may not eat all of it."

"I'm not asking you to." he said, then added, "Now go on."

She left him. Upon entering the breakroom she noticed that her food was sitting on the counter in a styrofoam take out box. She smiled mainly because she knew that he had been thinking about her when he was out.

She devoured the burger as if she hadn't eaten in days. She had to admit that maybe she really hadn't been eating enough.

When Catherine walked in moments later, Sara was almost finished with the meal, "Hey." she said easily.

Catherine smiled, coming over to her to pat her stomach, "How are they?"

"Energetic." Sara said as she watched Catherine's hand move over her stomach, "This isn't their kicking time."

"I see that." Catherine smiled, "So, how are you?"

"Good." Sara finished the last fry and threw the container in the trash behind her, "Just...uh...some pain in my back."

Catherine turned from the coffee pot to look at her, "I got that in my last month with Lindsey." she said, "Thank God Eddie was good with his hands."

"Massage?" Sara asked as she cleaned up the table of her peices of lettuce that seemed to have scattered everywhere on the smooth surface.

"Yeah." Catherine smiled sadly at her, "Since you don't have a man to help you out," she shrugged, pressing her lips together, "a heating pad always helped me too."

"I use that already." Sara stood, now pushing the chair under the table.

A fraction of a second later Grissom came into the breakroom, he eyed Catherine as she exited, then he looked to Sara, "Already done."

She moved around the table toward the door, "It was good." she opened another water and took a long drink, "Thanks."

"Good." he said, "You ate all of it?"

Sara stood stark still, a furrow meeting her brow. Suddenly she felt tiny bits of movement in her belly. She looked down, gently placing her hands on her swollen middle, "Their both kicking." she said as a small smile came to her lips. Then she realized that Grissom was still standing in front of her.

"Is that strange?" his voice sounded hesitant.

Her eyes met with his, "For this hour?" she puzzled it, "Yes."

He eyed her stomach, "May I?'

Sara took in a quick breath of air, not sure if she could handle such a personal moment with him, "Sure." she ended up saying as his hands decended on her belly.

She moved her hands, watching as his tan, thick hands slid over the material of her shirt, causing her to almost wince, "Where?" he asked unsurely.

Sara looked at him, seeing how concentrated he seemed on her. She looked down at his hands, gently putting her shaky fingers over his wrists and pulling his palms forward to where two little feet pushed softly, "There." she said, her eyes scanning his face to see what would show.

At first his brow furrowed lightly and then, to Sara's glee, a small smile edged the corner of his lips, "I feel them."

Sara swallowed hard, "They must like your voice." she said it without thinking about it.

Suddenly his hands were off her stomach and he was turned pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"I mean," she rolled her eyes at herself, "it's probably because of the spices in that veggie burger."

He turned, "Yeah." he said, his eyes only scanning her stomach quickly and fleetingly, "I'll get you a less spicy one next time."

She watched him leave the room. Gently she smoothed her shirt back over her bulging middle, "Don't fall in love with him, babies." she whispered as she turned to leave the room, "I don't want your hearts broken too."


End file.
